Grow up to a Saree

 “I don’t want to be stuck in a government office wearing a cotton saree”, that’s the reason my neighbour’s daughter gave me, when I asked her if she ever considered following in the footsteps of her bureaucrat mother. Ridiculous as it might seem, that’s the way “Youngistan” thinks of sarees. Good for government offices or weddings, but too much of a hassle for everyday wear, too old world! So it’s not too surprising when every time I wear a saree, I am greeted by incredulous looks. “A saree?”, “How come a Saree?” or “What made you take the effort of draping a saree?” are a few vocalised raised eyebrows. Why not? I wonder.

Convenience seems to be the most common reason for not wearing this traditional Indian piece of feminine clothing. And sure enough in our sales-pitch-at-office-maid-AWOL-child-down-with-fever-inlaws-are-expected scenario, it definitely seems easier to just slip into a trouser. Yet there is an army of women who practically live their whole lives in sarees. Anyone travelling by local trains in Mumbai is sure to witness multitudes of women, who must have woken up at the crack of dawn to cook, pack off kids to school, draped a saree and sprinted to board a 8:13am train to reach office on time. You’ll meet them again in the evening, not a pleat out of place, all geared up to fight their way in the already bursting-at-its-seams local train, in a hurry to get back home and continue their buzzing lives.

Then there are the home-maker kinds as well. Speaking of which reminds me of my mother. I’ve always seen her in a saree. Growing up with a bureaucrat father, we were posted in the remote corners of Maharashtra state; where for a good part of the 80’s one could not find bread or ice-cream! Yet one could find sarees from various corners of India! My father’s colleagues came from different parts of the country. And their wives had trunk-fulls of sarees – the prized wedding saree, the everyday wear cotton one and the slightly formal one for party wear. There weren’t many socializing options at the time, but people made time to visit each other at home (another tradition losing popularity!) And dinner wasn’t ordered in (Yeah, it’s humanly possible!), but cooked at home. Ladies came in proudly wearing their sarees from their home-state. Anyway, to carry on the point, I was introduced to the rich textile traditions of India pretty early on. Of course I was an eager listener to all the wonderful conversations about sarees and food that would take place at these get-togethers. The evening usually ended with recipe-swapping and promises of bringing back new sarees from the respective next home-town visits.  So you see, sitting in a remote corner of Maharashtra, my mother learned the secret of making the softest of Idlis, the spongiest of Dhoklas and even Hyderabadi biryani. Not to mention the ever expanding wardrobe of Kota cotton, Kanjeevaram and Pochampally silks! Perks of the hubby’s job, one might conclude. Also being a bureaucrat, my father was required to travel for various official meetings and training sessions to various parts of the country, which was always welcome. Because it meant that wherever he went, he picked up a local weave for mummy! I remember the time when my father was posted in Nashik, close to Yeola…the home of the Paithani saree. Mainly because the ladies of our extended family became proud owners of the Paithani saree, known for its time consuming tapestry weave.

At the time, it seemed “Saree influencers” were everywhere. The elegantly dressed Air-India hostesses who popularised the “pinned-up air-hostess” saree drape! Unfortunately the newer airlines seem to have traded the elegant attire for tight, short skirts. And who can forget the very elegant and classy anchors of Doordarshan. They pretty much dictated which sarees flooded the market soon after! And yes, I also remember Shabana Azmi in movies like ‘Swami’ and ‘Apne Payare’, wearing crisp Bengal cottons. Not to forget the teachers of my Delhi school, who turned up in crisp cottons in summers and lovely silks paired with smart jackets in winters.

When I look back, it seems that my mother spent a lot of time in her sarees as well as in taking care of them. She was and is incredibly proud and possessive of her sarees. Every morning after she packed me and my sister off to school and my father to office, she used to bathe and wear a crisp cotton saree. She effortlessly went about her daily chores in a saree; cooking, shopping for vegetables, having tea with friends, socializing at the club, all that while maintaining the crispness of her saree. And it didn’t come easy. Come summers, she undertook the ritual of starching the cotton sarees. An unthinkable ordeal! She home-made the starch by boiling Saboodana, dipping the cotton in this sticky liquid and drying them in scorching sun. The entire household staff would pitch in, while we kids were not allowed near the hot boiling, foul smelling Saboodana liquid, thank God for that. These freshly starched sarees would last her for a few washes. And then the ordeal would repeat.

She was also nightmarishly particular about storing her sarees. All her silks were stored in a trunk, individually wrapped in muslin. We enjoyed making small potlis of muslin filled with spices, not to forget the neem leaves which worked as natural moth repellents. These sarees were regularly aired and the folds changed. During this process, my sister and I would have happily jumped into this heap of soft silk of rainbow coloured cloth, but for the eagle eyes of the lady of the house! She even ironed her zari silks herself, by placing a muslin cloth over the saree, irritatingly time-consuming, but she preferred that over trusting the Dhobi.

Many-a-times I wonder where did my mother inherit this love for the saree. My naani, having migrated from Pakistan after the partition, never wore a saree and till this day proudly wears the Pakistani salwar! But my mother still behaves like a child in a candy shop, when in a saree store; and if left unattended will pick up a few handfuls! Of course, buying a saree is not enough for her; she loves the whole process of visiting a “matching center” to pick out the exact shade of petticoats and blouses.

Both, my sister and I, have inherited her love for sarees and Indian textiles. Not to mention her Kanjeevarams. My younger sister wears a saree to work every day, and it takes her 5 minutes to drape one. Here’s the little secret; it doesn’t take a long time to drape, yet people believe that you’ve made an effort to dress up!

It’s sad that many women today are ditching the saree for western outfits. Not anything wrong with wearing skirts and trousers, but please do make some space for the saree in your wardrobe. Many believe that a saree would make them look older. Nothing could be farther from the truth. On the contrary; there is nothing more feminine and elegant than it. The soft, fluid saree takes the shape of your body and enhances your personality. You can take a saree anywhere.

Even though I say that the younger generation is reluctant to adopt the saree; this seems to be the most exciting time for it. A lot of cross-regional techniques are blending with contemporary designs and patterns resulting in a metamorphosed new age garment. Lucknowi chikankari on the sheer chanderi, khadi with natural dyed hand block print, Mangalgiri weave meets age-old ajrakh, Ikats with kalamkari, the options are unlimited. The young guns of Indian fashion are pulling out all stops in contemporising this fantastic garment.  And its fluidity lends itself beautifully to the new world order. The magic of the one-size-fits-all garment keeps one enthralled. It is wild & whacky, traditional & sedate, it’s all in one. Organic and socially engaging, it walks tall and holds its own. Wherever you take it!

Every piece of attire has its place and a saree has been a part of our culture and tradition for time immemorial. Give it the rightful place it deserves in your wardrobe.



Photo courtesy: Sudar FM

Maaya: A tryst with self.

In the journey of life we experience many relationships, meet many people. Some work, some don't. Some relationships are deeply fulfilling, nurture our soul and encourage us to be better versions of ourselves, yet some drain us, making us sad and miserable. We click with some people instantaneously; the connection seems deep and meaningful as if it's been there for ages, whereas some people remain an enigma even after years of association. All of these interactions make us question; why? Why do we attract certain people? Why do we get into certain relationships? Why do we deserve certain experiences? Why do certain relationships mean more than others?

Maaya: A tryst with self, is one such fantastical journey that the protagonist Maaya takes, after being plagued by an unfulfilled relationship, which takes her on the path of self -discovery and spiritual healing.

The book takes on this journey with Maaya, who is divorced mother of one. Maaya is also in love with Rahul. She keeps connecting and disconnecting with him and wondering if and when they will have a future together.

At a critical stage in their relationship, she describes the state of affairs beautifully. “It’s becoming about ‘I’ and ‘You’ rather than about ‘Us’. ‘We’ are dissolving.” – she says in a letter to Rahul. Now this rings true for most of us at some point in time in our strongest and closest of relationships, doesn't it?

Maaya’s quest for an answer takes her down the path of spiritual healing and past life regression therapy. This quest also leads her to self -discovery and her own path in life.

Maaya could be any of us grappling with relationship issues. Going through life and seeking answers to various relationship issues. The most important lesson that Maaya teaches us is that the answers, we seek, are not outside but within us. We are always looking outside for support, for validation and even for our own happiness, yet we ignore looking inwards. We are not meant to suffer in our life time and yet we are insistent on complicating small issues and getting sucked into the negativity. We are constantly giving in to societal pressure while forgetting to cherish ourselves and discover the love within each of us.

Minal handles Maaya with a lot of love and affection and writes knowledgeably about her life-predicaments. The book makes for wonderful reading and very soon, becomes a page turner. It is certainly more than a love story; it’s a journey of self-discovery which many would identify with.

The book will make you introspect and seek to transform from within.

We are often confronted by concepts of past lives, destiny, soul, soul mates. We delve on, seek more explanations and answers. Not many of us believe in it, many are skeptical. Given that most of us are skeptical about these complicated concepts, the simplicity with which some of the concepts are introduced is refreshing and that too without losing the evocativeness. For example, the concept of past life is introduced as “fragments of soul that are stuck” or “It is ‘past’ that hasn't ‘passed’. Minal also brings about an interesting connection between our past lives and their influence on our current state of affairs – relationships, fears, desires, anxieties etc.  

This book is a good beginning to start understanding these concepts. In a simple language, the book attempts to answer many questions that we have about the universe, about our mission in life and more importantly about soul-mates and twin souls.

For believers, non-believers, and the in-betweens alike, this book is good beginning to your own quest of love and life.

Happy reading.

To know more about the author Minal Arora and her work visit here and here

Be yourself.

Tell us something about yourself

What are your strengths and weaknesses?

Anyone who has ever been to a job interview is familiar with these two standard questions. And all of us are prepared for these. Of course the answer depends on the job profile and the organization we apply to. We aim to please, to convince the interviewer that we are the perfect fit for the job profile. Whether the answer reflects our true personality is quite another matter. But it is designed to impress the interviewer...whether or not s/he buys into it is anyone's guess.

But once the whole interview charade is over, does anyone bother to answer these questions honestly. Do we even admit to ourselves the kind of people we are? what are our "real" strengths and weaknesses? How would we answer the question if we were not in an interview and there was no one in the opposite chair judging us?

Many a times, we are disconnected with ourselves, living a persona which is in tune with the expectations of others. We are so busy with dealing with peer pressure, trying to live up to the expectations of our parents and the society in general. Our true self in lost in this chaos.

You don't need to be pub hopper, party animal, just because the world wants you to be. If you would rather sit with a book on Saturday night. Well so be it.

It's alright if you haven't read any on the 100-books-to-read-in-your-lifetime. Why bother with other people's opinion of what book you should read or not. Living alone and taking care of yourself is more of a learning experience, I say.

Aren't you bored of seeing people dressed as clones of each other. Where is the personal style, your charisma? Why not be bold enough to create your own style statement rather then be dictated by movie stars and magazines. Wear what suits you. Why blend in when you have the option of standing out?

Isn't knowing yourself and being true to yourself most important when it comes to career choices. Many people go with the career option chosen by others...family, relatives, friends. Sure our parents know more about life then us, but we have to bear the responsibility of the choices we make...long after they are gone. Career choices are also made keeping in mind "what's in". Nothing spells failure, better than this.

Imagine being in a bank surrounded by numbers and data, when you would rather create a creative campaign like Vodafone Zoo Zoos!

A job turns into a career and stays with you for the rest of our lives. So choose wisely. Choose smart.

Always keep asking yourself the kind of person you are, what are your strengths & weaknesses. How do you over come weaknesses (no one is devoid of them), how do we make our strengths work for us.

Discover yourself. Be yourself. Even if you are the odd one out. At least you will be happy and have a job that makes you want to get out of bed. And have relationships that don't drain you. Still want to blend in and follow the herd? Thought so.

Shed the baggage...

There comes a time in everyone’s life, when one must drop whatever one is doing and take stock of, well, literally, one’s life. Think about it, we carry on with our lives…chasing our dreams and ambitions, working hard and in the process accumulating baggage; we don’t even realise we have collected. Over a period of time the baggage keeps getting heavier & heavier, weighing us down, slowing us down and yet we ignore it and carry on. Until it becomes impossible to go on, it’s time to stop, take stock and to decide to unload.

And we need to do this, both literally and figuratively…

We go through life collecting all kinds of hurts, broken promises, and unfulfilled dreams, the burden of which, keeps adding and weighing us down. This unnecessary weight prevents us from moving forward; achieving our dreams and quite literally it prevents us from being happy. So why not just dump this unnecessary load? And march ahead? The time is now to stop worrying about the past and start living.

Don’t be bogged down by past mistakes. They don’t define you; they just mean that you were not afraid to take a chance. Learn the lesson and move on. Always remember, if you are not making mistakes…well then you are not doing much with your life.

Let go of relationships that don’t help you grow as a person. Any relationship should be a source of happiness, encouragement, it should nurture & cherish. But if relationships are sucking the life out of you…why drag. There will always be people who would readily dress up and party with you…but in your moment of grief are busy with the work-family-house routine. It’s a good idea to let them go. Forgive people who hurt you, not for them but to free yourself. Anger is a poison that you take and then expect someone else to suffer! If the relationship is not fulfilling…it’s not worth the effort.

Still crying over missed opportunity? Still worrying about what could have been instead to thinking about what is? Living in the past, while the present slips away? This one is not difficult to figure out, is it?

And while you are clearing the mind-baggage don’t forget to literally shed some baggage. I am talking about the excess baggage that our body carries.

Unless riddled by genetic problems, there is no excuse to be overweight. Especially in the times we are living. Hectic, stressful professional life, the torturous traffic, city living, pollution all sucking the life out of us. The newspapers are full of people suffering from cardiac conditions as early as in the 30s.

So stop hiding behind excuses and take a walk, climb the stairs, join the yoga class, pick an apple instead of that brownie and eat at home as much as possible!

You owe it not only to yourself but also to your family.

Live happy and travel light!

The time is...NOW

Always waiting for the 1st of the month, Monday, New year, birthday or anniversary or just the "right day" to start something new? Stop waiting and start now...because the right time to start something...anything is right NOW...

Now is the time...

...to realise your dreams, your long standing wishes and desires. When you can start now, why wait for tomorrow?

...to get fit, to join the gym, to join the yoga class, to lose weight.

...to get back to a hobby, dust the tennis racket, bring out the paint brushes or fine tune the sitar. It's time to rediscover yourself.

...to pick up the phone and call a friend. The best way to wish someone on a birthday is not by writing on their FB wall, but to make a call.

...to meet a friend for coffee.

...to let go of past hurt, to put down the baggage and get rid of it for good. Time to let go.

...to stop worrying about what will be. It's time to live in the present.

...to laugh a bit more.

...to mend broken relationships. Life is too short to nurse old grudges.

...to go travelling, meet new people, to sample different cuisine.

...to get out of your comfort zone and discover a whole new world.

The time is right to start living. The time is NOW.

Penny for your thoughts...

Well, had I collected a penny for every bit of irrelevant, bizarre and downright ridiculous advice I have been given…let’s just say my bank would be very pleased with me!
Everyone is so quick to dispense advice, almost like a birth right, a sacrosanct ritual, without which one’s day would be bland and completely lacking. Almost like food without salt Unthinkable!

What is even more amazing is the absolute authority with which and the lightning speed at which, people dispense their verbal gems.

When should Sachin retire? How should the country be run? How do we handle the whole Pakistan-Kashmir issue? What is the truth behind the Devyani Khobragade fiasco? Blah blah blah and then some.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am totally for opinions, debates even arguments. But some are so nauseatingly stupid that one can’t help but puke.

Of course, it pinches more when supposedly well-meaning friends and relatives seem to know how to run your life better than you!

People are terribly worried these days about how I will spend my old age and, dear lord, who will take care of me & hubby. Let me explain…what I mean.

I am well into my 30’s and don’t have a kid. Hubby & I have gone from adopting a kid to not wanting a kid to maybe wanting to kidnap one for a week or two without ransom.
A personal choice which is not required to be explained to all & sundry, but then it doesn't work like that, does it now?

So everyone has taken it upon themselves to drill some sense in my obviously empty head.

A very concerned well-wisher asks if I have thought about this decision. Have I seen a gynecologist? Do I know the biological clock is ticking furiously? Err no…I was just waiting for someone smart like you to come along and advise, moron!

Another time when people are happily advising is when one is expecting. When my sister was expecting…we were drowned in a deluge of sometimes-sane-most-times-stupid-advice.

She had a C-section due to a last minute emergency. Of course many people thought her doctor was stupid to suggest it.

We should have waited, we should have protested and, best for the last…we should have taken a 2^nd opinion!

Seriously? Didn't know there were so many closet doctors!
Of course these are serious issues and people can’t help themselves.

But even when it comes to mundane stuff people can’t resist their urge to split their lips and pour the wise wine of words.

Which car to buy, where to vacation, how to spend one’s weekend (Yes, believe me…I have been advised on how & where to spend it!).

A simple thing they miss is…if I really needed their pearls of wisdom; would I not ask them?! Shouldn't the very fact that I did not call them before making a purchase, tell them that I don’t care much about what they think!

The next time someone starts with: “If you don’t mind me saying so…” I think I am going to go for the jugular. Guess what? I do mind, so shut up.

If I needed your advice, I will ask. Until then I can manage my life on my own. 

Thank you very much.

Ting tong...must be Jabong!

'Online' & 'shopping' were words that did not come together for me very often. The whole "shopping" experience began and ended at the malls and the internet was a place for social networking! At best, the thought of combining the two came when I had to buy books from Flipkart or tickets from Makemytrip.

I have always been skeptical about shopping online and buying things without the whole "touch & feel" experience. But this issue was taken care of by various online shopping portals, where one could order, open and check the product & try the garments at home and then make the payment. How convenient! Plus I realised that my teenage cousins were already shopping online for clothes and accessories and the most favoured destination was www.jabong.com ...I had to take the plunge!

Around the same time I was offered a Rs 500/- voucher from none other than Jabong! what luck!

Once you visit the website, you discover its simplicity and quickly realise that it is neatly organised making browsing and searching easy and hassle free. The website has a neat and clutter free look. Not to mention that the home page is teeming with offers...enough temptation to shop!

Given my fetish for skin care products, I was pleasantly surprised by the entire range on offer...totally spoilt for choice!

I chose Iraya body lotion and Soultree shower gel. Both the products reached me within 3-4 days. Also notice a sticker on the parcel; which said that I could check the contents before accepting the parcel. Good idea!

While regular shopping is great, don't forget to look out for discount coupons and other mouth watering offers on the website!

Also remember to pick up a thoughtful gift for your mother for mother's day. Jabong seems to have thought of some wonderful ideas...do check it out!

Happy shopping!