Be yourself.

Tell us something about yourself

What are your strengths and weaknesses?

Anyone who has ever been to a job interview is familiar with these two standard questions. And all of us are prepared for these. Of course the answer depends on the job profile and the organization we apply to. We aim to please, to convince the interviewer that we are the perfect fit for the job profile. Whether the answer reflects our true personality is quite another matter. But it is designed to impress the interviewer...whether or not s/he buys into it is anyone's guess.

But once the whole interview charade is over, does anyone bother to answer these questions honestly. Do we even admit to ourselves the kind of people we are? what are our "real" strengths and weaknesses? How would we answer the question if we were not in an interview and there was no one in the opposite chair judging us?

Many a times, we are disconnected with ourselves, living a persona which is in tune with the expectations of others. We are so busy with dealing with peer pressure, trying to live up to the expectations of our parents and the society in general. Our true self in lost in this chaos.

You don't need to be pub hopper, party animal, just because the world wants you to be. If you would rather sit with a book on Saturday night. Well so be it.

It's alright if you haven't read any on the 100-books-to-read-in-your-lifetime. Why bother with other people's opinion of what book you should read or not. Living alone and taking care of yourself is more of a learning experience, I say.

Aren't you bored of seeing people dressed as clones of each other. Where is the personal style, your charisma? Why not be bold enough to create your own style statement rather then be dictated by movie stars and magazines. Wear what suits you. Why blend in when you have the option of standing out?

Isn't knowing yourself and being true to yourself most important when it comes to career choices. Many people go with the career option chosen by others...family, relatives, friends. Sure our parents know more about life then us, but we have to bear the responsibility of the choices we make...long after they are gone. Career choices are also made keeping in mind "what's in". Nothing spells failure, better than this.

Imagine being in a bank surrounded by numbers and data, when you would rather create a creative campaign like Vodafone Zoo Zoos!

A job turns into a career and stays with you for the rest of our lives. So choose wisely. Choose smart.

Always keep asking yourself the kind of person you are, what are your strengths & weaknesses. How do you over come weaknesses (no one is devoid of them), how do we make our strengths work for us.

Discover yourself. Be yourself. Even if you are the odd one out. At least you will be happy and have a job that makes you want to get out of bed. And have relationships that don't drain you. Still want to blend in and follow the herd? Thought so.

Shed the baggage...

There comes a time in everyone’s life, when one must drop whatever one is doing and take stock of, well, literally, one’s life. Think about it, we carry on with our lives…chasing our dreams and ambitions, working hard and in the process accumulating baggage; we don’t even realise we have collected. Over a period of time the baggage keeps getting heavier & heavier, weighing us down, slowing us down and yet we ignore it and carry on. Until it becomes impossible to go on, it’s time to stop, take stock and to decide to unload.

And we need to do this, both literally and figuratively…

We go through life collecting all kinds of hurts, broken promises, and unfulfilled dreams, the burden of which, keeps adding and weighing us down. This unnecessary weight prevents us from moving forward; achieving our dreams and quite literally it prevents us from being happy. So why not just dump this unnecessary load? And march ahead? The time is now to stop worrying about the past and start living.

Don’t be bogged down by past mistakes. They don’t define you; they just mean that you were not afraid to take a chance. Learn the lesson and move on. Always remember, if you are not making mistakes…well then you are not doing much with your life.

Let go of relationships that don’t help you grow as a person. Any relationship should be a source of happiness, encouragement, it should nurture & cherish. But if relationships are sucking the life out of you…why drag. There will always be people who would readily dress up and party with you…but in your moment of grief are busy with the work-family-house routine. It’s a good idea to let them go. Forgive people who hurt you, not for them but to free yourself. Anger is a poison that you take and then expect someone else to suffer! If the relationship is not fulfilling…it’s not worth the effort.

Still crying over missed opportunity? Still worrying about what could have been instead to thinking about what is? Living in the past, while the present slips away? This one is not difficult to figure out, is it?

And while you are clearing the mind-baggage don’t forget to literally shed some baggage. I am talking about the excess baggage that our body carries.

Unless riddled by genetic problems, there is no excuse to be overweight. Especially in the times we are living. Hectic, stressful professional life, the torturous traffic, city living, pollution all sucking the life out of us. The newspapers are full of people suffering from cardiac conditions as early as in the 30s.

So stop hiding behind excuses and take a walk, climb the stairs, join the yoga class, pick an apple instead of that brownie and eat at home as much as possible!

You owe it not only to yourself but also to your family.

Live happy and travel light!

The time is...NOW

Always waiting for the 1st of the month, Monday, New year, birthday or anniversary or just the "right day" to start something new? Stop waiting and start now...because the right time to start something...anything is right NOW...

Now is the time...

...to realise your dreams, your long standing wishes and desires. When you can start now, why wait for tomorrow?

...to get fit, to join the gym, to join the yoga class, to lose weight.

...to get back to a hobby, dust the tennis racket, bring out the paint brushes or fine tune the sitar. It's time to rediscover yourself.

...to pick up the phone and call a friend. The best way to wish someone on a birthday is not by writing on their FB wall, but to make a call.

...to meet a friend for coffee.

...to let go of past hurt, to put down the baggage and get rid of it for good. Time to let go.

...to stop worrying about what will be. It's time to live in the present.

...to laugh a bit more.

...to mend broken relationships. Life is too short to nurse old grudges.

...to go travelling, meet new people, to sample different cuisine.

...to get out of your comfort zone and discover a whole new world.

The time is right to start living. The time is NOW.

Penny for your thoughts...

Well, had I collected a penny for every bit of irrelevant, bizarre and downright ridiculous advice I have been given…let’s just say my bank would be very pleased with me!
Everyone is so quick to dispense advice, almost like a birth right, a sacrosanct ritual, without which one’s day would be bland and completely lacking. Almost like food without salt Unthinkable!

What is even more amazing is the absolute authority with which and the lightning speed at which, people dispense their verbal gems.

When should Sachin retire? How should the country be run? How do we handle the whole Pakistan-Kashmir issue? What is the truth behind the Devyani Khobragade fiasco? Blah blah blah and then some.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am totally for opinions, debates even arguments. But some are so nauseatingly stupid that one can’t help but puke.

Of course, it pinches more when supposedly well-meaning friends and relatives seem to know how to run your life better than you!

People are terribly worried these days about how I will spend my old age and, dear lord, who will take care of me & hubby. Let me explain…what I mean.

I am well into my 30’s and don’t have a kid. Hubby & I have gone from adopting a kid to not wanting a kid to maybe wanting to kidnap one for a week or two without ransom.
A personal choice which is not required to be explained to all & sundry, but then it doesn't work like that, does it now?

So everyone has taken it upon themselves to drill some sense in my obviously empty head.

A very concerned well-wisher asks if I have thought about this decision. Have I seen a gynecologist? Do I know the biological clock is ticking furiously? Err no…I was just waiting for someone smart like you to come along and advise, moron!

Another time when people are happily advising is when one is expecting. When my sister was expecting…we were drowned in a deluge of sometimes-sane-most-times-stupid-advice.

She had a C-section due to a last minute emergency. Of course many people thought her doctor was stupid to suggest it.

We should have waited, we should have protested and, best for the last…we should have taken a 2^nd opinion!

Seriously? Didn't know there were so many closet doctors!
Of course these are serious issues and people can’t help themselves.

But even when it comes to mundane stuff people can’t resist their urge to split their lips and pour the wise wine of words.

Which car to buy, where to vacation, how to spend one’s weekend (Yes, believe me…I have been advised on how & where to spend it!).

A simple thing they miss is…if I really needed their pearls of wisdom; would I not ask them?! Shouldn't the very fact that I did not call them before making a purchase, tell them that I don’t care much about what they think!

The next time someone starts with: “If you don’t mind me saying so…” I think I am going to go for the jugular. Guess what? I do mind, so shut up.

If I needed your advice, I will ask. Until then I can manage my life on my own. 

Thank you very much.

Ting tong...must be Jabong!

'Online' & 'shopping' were words that did not come together for me very often. The whole "shopping" experience began and ended at the malls and the internet was a place for social networking! At best, the thought of combining the two came when I had to buy books from Flipkart or tickets from Makemytrip.

I have always been skeptical about shopping online and buying things without the whole "touch & feel" experience. But this issue was taken care of by various online shopping portals, where one could order, open and check the product & try the garments at home and then make the payment. How convenient! Plus I realised that my teenage cousins were already shopping online for clothes and accessories and the most favoured destination was www.jabong.com ...I had to take the plunge!

Around the same time I was offered a Rs 500/- voucher from none other than Jabong! what luck!

Once you visit the website, you discover its simplicity and quickly realise that it is neatly organised making browsing and searching easy and hassle free. The website has a neat and clutter free look. Not to mention that the home page is teeming with offers...enough temptation to shop!

Given my fetish for skin care products, I was pleasantly surprised by the entire range on offer...totally spoilt for choice!

I chose Iraya body lotion and Soultree shower gel. Both the products reached me within 3-4 days. Also notice a sticker on the parcel; which said that I could check the contents before accepting the parcel. Good idea!

While regular shopping is great, don't forget to look out for discount coupons and other mouth watering offers on the website!

Also remember to pick up a thoughtful gift for your mother for mother's day. Jabong seems to have thought of some wonderful ideas...do check it out!

Happy shopping!

                                                                                                                                                            

Stay Connected

Stay Connected...

 

Now-a-days every time we hear the word "connected" the only thing that comes to mind is the Internet! Everyone seems to be connected online...obviously nothing wrong in that. What better way than to keep in touch and rediscover friends than on Facebook. I have met many long lost friends online...I don't think I would ever have met them had it not been for Facebook's helping hand. But that's not the kind of "connection" I am talking about. Is there another kind? you wonder. I think so. Let me explain.

 

We live in a world that is constantly on over-drive mode. Everyone is in a hurry. To get somewhere. To get something done. There is always a rush for meetings, appointments, sales targets, client meetings. Where is the time to pause and think? We all seem to be stuck in a rut, but how many of us want to get out of this rut? Get out of the rat race and connect with our 'self'. Not many of us can give it all up and become farmers and artists and turn our backs on peer pressure. But every once in a while, wont it be better to reconnect with your 'self'? Take time out to rethink your priorities, goals and ambitions? Go for a walk with yourself. Spend a few more "doing-nothing" moments. Stay connected with yourself', before you lose yourself.

 

In a mad rush to succeed we not only lose connection with ourselves but also with our near & dear ones. People who should matter to us the most...our family. We work crazy hours, impossible deadlines to earn a better living for our families. Sure money is important for all our needs and wants, but so is being emotionally connected. A sick person does not get cured by medicine alone, but also due to the nurturing by loved ones. People with families live longer...so why just settle for a weekend marriage? or weekend parenting? If family is the the corner stone of civilization, make sure you give it due priority. Stay connected with family; before its too late.

 

Hundreds of friends on Facebook, hundreds of "likes" on inane status updates and photos. And most importantly hundreds of birthday wishes. And how many phone calls for birthday wishes and heart to heart conversations? Not all friends on Facebook expect a phone call, but everyone has a few special friends who deserve a call every once in a while, especially on their birthdays and special occasions. Take time out to make that phone call, attend weddings, birthday parties, get-togethers. Stay connected with friends..and I am talking Facebook here.

 

In school, everything seems possible, no dream is too outrageous, everything is fun...a child-like delight & enthusiasm that seems to conquer all. In school we also have "hobbies" which we seem to drop as we collect other baggage. Everyone in school looks forward to the sports/games period. Aah, finally time to leave behind the confinement of the classroom! Until its time to prepare for the board exams...sports is the first to be left behind. Annual day functions meant everyone was busy preparing a skit, a musical or a dance performance, but the pursuit of a career means all such 'frivolous' activities took a back seat. Its understandable that not every one can make career in theatre, music, dance or sports, but we can still pursue them as recreational activities. Take a break from the rig-ma-role of daily life. Rediscover a hobby or pick up a new one. Stay connected with your passion. There is little else that gives more joy.

 

Stay connected. With everything that makes you 'you'

Nana nani ka ghar.

During our school-days, my sister and I, like all school going children, would eagerly look forward to our summer-vacations. Not only did this mean freedom to get up late but also meant that the annual trip to Saharanpur was finally around the corner. This was our nani ka ghar; and nothing could bring us more joy than this trip. I am talking about time way back in the 80s. Much before the advent of internet & TV even; so there were no makemytrip.com or yatra.com to entice with vacation deals. Add to this the fact that my father was posted in places like Dhule & Jalgaon …far far away from Saharanpur. So such trips happened only once a year.

The preparation for the trip would start weeks in advance. My mother would start collecting stuff. Poha, chakli, sabudana, chivda…all would be part of our luggage. At that time all these ingredients were not available up north. Add to these individual gifts for all family members. Now all the ladies of the extended family are proud owners of the paithani saree! We kids would have our own packing to do. Apart from the clothes, we would select some toys to accompany us along with our school books; that we never get around to studying is quite another matter! And let’s not forget the excitement of packing for the train journey itself. The day of travel saw frantic activity in the kitchen…mom would get up early morning to prepare the quintessential sookhe aloo ki subzi and fry enough pooris. Oh and let’s not forget the aam ka achar; along with this my sister and I would pack chocolates and toffees, which we had been collecting for days! As the time approached to board the train, we could barely contain our excitement. Once we had boarded, settled in, we wanted to eat…once done we would finally calm down and eagerly await our arrival at New Delhi railway station. We would alight here and continue the rest of the journey by road.

Finally, after a restless travel of more than 24 hrs we arrive at Saharanpur. And what a resounding welcome we would receive. My grandmother would have prepared our favourite meal, and immediately we would become the centre of attention. Of course another ritual was opening of the luggage; which everyone eagerly looked forward to!! My mom has two brothers and a sister; all younger to her. We as kids were quite a novelty to them and their college friends! We had a wonderful time going out with them and would be treated to all kinds of yummy street food.

Another high point of visiting Saharanpur was that we could watch TV (TV transmission began in Dhule only in 1984). I remember patiently waiting for 6:00 pm; the time transmission began. We would religiously watch all the programs, including Krishi Darshan, and would only sleep after wishing the presenter "shubhratri".

Looking back, even without Internet or 24 hour TV channels, we were never bored, nor did the power cuts bother us despite the scorching heat of May. The afternoons were spent waiting for the  ice cream wala...the taste of the orange chuski still fresh in my mind.

The fondest memory of Saharanpur is of spending time with our grandfather. A stickler for routine, he was much feared by all in the family, but we girls could get away with almost anything! The best time was when he was having his meals. We would sit on either side and listen to his stories. He has migrated from Pakistan after the partition, and would talk fondly of his childhood and boyhood days. He would eat rotis laden with ghee and urged us to do the same…much to our dismay. Most evenings, if we were not going out with our aunt & uncles, grandpa took us out for a walk; where we would meet his friends…some from the pre-partition era! These walks inevitably ended with a glass of sugarcane juice. Spending time with him was also fun; not only did he regale us with stories and anecdotes, but also with nuggets of wisdom and practical advice.

We also had a no. of friends in Saharanpur, usually neighbours or the kids of our mother’s childhood friends. We eagerly looked forward to meeting them too. They would be quite amused by our hindi, sprinkled with Marathi words!

And before we knew it, it seemed that our vacation had gotten over far too soon. Hadn’t we just arrived? And now we were packing to go back! Not fair! Going back our luggage would be equally heavy…garam masala (from all the things, this is one thing I remember distinctly), pickles that my grandmother had made, all the knick knacks that my uncles & aunts had collected for us, the sweater that my granny had knitted for papa and various other tiny things would fill up our bags. My uncles would come to drop us at New Delhi railway station; of course goodbyes were never easy.

Once back home it took the longest to get back to routine…having been spoilt rotten for the entire vacation. Since there was no internet or phone, we would desperately wait for letters from Saharanpur, and if any had news of visiting relatives; our joy would know no bounds.

It’s been years since we went back to Saharanpur. My aunt and uncles got married and shifted away from home. After my grandfather passed away, the house was sold, and the last connection to Saharanpur was lost. I don’t know if we would ever go back, but looking back no other vacation has brought me more joy and happiness. Probably it was so special because it was my nana-nani ka ghar!